Monday, April 22, 2013
Why I Want to Kill You
Posted on 5:56 PM by Unknown
You’ve been sitting around for years hearing everyone and their R2-unit talking (or beeping) about GAME OF THRONES. You hear whispers about its epic story-lines and major character arcs and how it is THE WIRE of fantasy shows. You think yourself a geek or a nerd but you don’t necessarily find yourself into the whole swords and magic fantasy stuff. Yet so many of your friends, and people you follow online, are into this thing and many of those people have shared your love for other cool shows, so why not check it out?
Why not watch GAME OF THRONES?
So you finally do. You take the plunge and enter into the complex world of Westeros where politics, sex, power, and murder are part of everyday life. Where the bad guy may push a child out the window one minute and save a woman from rape the next. Where women struggle for acceptance and recognition while finding unique ways to gain and maintain power.
Where all men must die.
But instead of starting at the beginning you start with episode 24.
EPISODE TWENTY-FRAKIN’-FOUR!
Why? Because that’s what you did when you got into THE BIG BANG THEORY, since they are, you know, so similar.
And that’s why I want to kill you. Because you didn't earn the emotions in that episode, dammit! You cheated. You up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, B, A, start'd it (and you suck even more for not getting that reference). You Cliff's noted it! You Don Draper'd these moments forever! You've ruined the whole journey!
You should thank the old gods and the new* that murder is still illegal, and that I have morals.
Because otherwise this would be my confession.
Sincerely, your hero and friend until the end.
*I KNOW YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS SINCE YOU DIDN'T WATCH THE FIRST 23 EPISODES!
If you liked this article, you might enjoy "Surviving the Adaptation (of your favorite book)".
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