Review - SUITS 3.6: 'The Other Time'

This is the case that never ends, it just goes on and on my friends ...

Some people starting caring about it (not knowing what it was), and they'll continue watching it forever just because ...

THIS GOD DAMN CASE NEVER ENDS!

Hell, even when episodes are set 10 years ago, the case is still prevalent. There's just no end in sight here.

Despite my annoyance of the Ava Hessington case's refusal to go away, this was a solid episode. Basically, it comes down to this: Flash forwards = stupid and Flash backs = useful and interesting (even if they did a poor job of making them all look 10 minutes younger, let alone 10 years)

But the main criticism I had with this one was that we didn't really learn anything new by going back in time. We already knew why Harvey left the DA's office and we pretty much already knew that him and Donna hooked up one time and one time only. And there was no big revelation regarding Mike and his douchebag friend Trevor. I mean, how crazy is it that 10 years prior Trevor was getting Mike into trouble?

I really don't want this show to try to humanize that piece of crap. Not going to work. But any episode that brings back Mike's grandmother is good in my book.

And what a tease ... I thought we were going to learn the full extent of the can opener and the only thing we learned was that they were looking for a new ritual and a waitress happened to walk by as Harvey stole her can opener. I should have known better and not gotten my hopes up.

And yet another shock ... Harvey appears to be going back on his word on taking over the firm and things are on the verge of going back to status-quo. That's USA Network for you!

One last note: Sorry for not posting a review last week. I started writing it, but needed to take a break and just never got back to it. This isn't exactly a groundbreaking take, but reviewing a show can really sap your enjoyment of it. That's definitely at play with me and Suits right now.

QUOTES OF NOTE:

--DONNA: "I'm not into you, I'm Donna."

--EVERYONE: "I'm here, you're here -- do your job."

--HARVEY: "I don't want to find out what kind of lawyer I'd be without you."

--DONNA: "You really do need me to stop doing things like this ... in the future."

--DONNA: "OK, listen Rainman -- you wear lifts in your shoes, you want braces but you don't have the balls and you have a cat ... that you love more than it loves than you.

RANDOM RAMBLINGS:

--Louis is the creepiest dude ever and a complete snake, but it's hard not to love him anyway.

--I'm starting to think Donna is more valuable to a law firm than Harvey would be.

--HAHA, I love that the random dude in the elevator called Louis an asshole. Who doesn't hate that guy?

--At first, I was thinking that Dean could go *$#% himself, but then I realized that he pretty much had every right to be furious and take it out on Mike.

--Cameron is a terrible lawyer. How does he still have a job?

THE GRADE: B

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Review - SUITS 3.04: 'Conflict of Interest'

Short and concise review coming up...

Things that we knew were going to happen, thus making it not at all that interesting nor good: Donna and the new guy hooking up. ... Donna realizing that Harvey would not be happy about it, thus not telling him -- leading to Harvey finding out later in the worst way possible and causing a rift (that will last like one whole episode) between them. ... The Ava Hessington case that just won't die with no end in sight. ... Harvey continuing his war with Jessica.

There were others, but that's good enough. Now, on to the things that we didn't necessarily see coming but still don't care about: Mike and Katrina connecting. The Rachel being jealous part, of course, was no surprise whatsoever. If this turns into something, which I don't think it will. I will stop watching this show because it will be the worst storyline ever.

And the supposed bombshell that Ava wasn't involved with the murders is a non-issue for me. They kept making it appear that she was guilty, so I was expecting the show to turn the switcheroo on us. So I wasn't exactly blindsided by her changing Harvey's mind. Frankly, all I care about is that case coming to a close.

I wonder how long they will drag out the war between Jessica and Harvey? Something needs to happen on this show, because literally nothing did in this episode and it was a boring clunker.

QUOTES OF NOTE:

--LOUIS: "What just happened to him?
--KATRINA: "He got Litt up."

DONNA'S TOP 4 QUOTES:

4. "What can I say, it deserved me."
3. "Quiet, copy boy."
2. "Suffice it to say, I was awesome."
1. "She finds you a bit douchey, love."

RANDOM RAMBLINGS:

--Louis waddling, but pretending to run when hot women were nearby was priceless. I also loved the point.

--That reporter bought Mike's accent? Oh come on.

--Black swan.

THE GRADE: D+

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Review - SUITS 3.03: 'Unfinished Business'

I'm typically a fan of multi-episode arcs on shows like 'Suits', but at this point I'm just glad the Ava Hessington case is over with. It was stalling/delaying Harvey's attempt to take over the firm from Jessica and that's much more interesting to me than some foreign client who tries to bribe her way out of everything and that is completely obsessed whether or not Harvey thinks she's also a murderer.

He doesn't care and neither do I.

I'm also not much interested in the new hot-shot fixer from out-of-town, Stephen Huntley. He's a smooth talker, which can be fun, but I just don't care about his character or what he's up to. We already have a character that does what he does and we like him much more. And haven't we had enough of characters we don't know if we can trust or not? And OF COURSE Huntley is going after Donna to try to mess with Harvey. So obvious. I'm sure we all want to see Donna happy and all, but not if it's a ploy from the writers' room to make it more about Harvey than about Donna. Do not short-thrift Donna, dammit!

What is the deal with Katrina and her war against everyone? What is this, high school? (Don't get me wrong, I'm thrilled to see Amanda Schull back on the show.) Just not sure where they are really going with this. Being on Team Litt could be interesting. I hope they go after Harvey and Mike somehow. Louis deserves a win at some point.

In regards to Rachel and Mike, is getting on one knee to ask someone to be their girlfriend the new rage? C'mon, Mike, you can do better than that. If you ask me, Mike and Harvey are a much cuter couple. I mean, how awesome is it that they are doing movie lines/analogies together again?

QUOTES OF NOTE:

--HARVEY: "Origami festival? Oh my god."

--HARVEY: "Do you want a lawyer who thinks you're innocent and loses, or a lawyer who doesn't want to know and wins? ... Then don't ask me that question again, because after I win and after you're free -- what I think, won't matter."

--MIKE: "Yeah, but we can take him. What's he gonna do? Talk to us with his words?
--RACHEL: "Or wag a finger at us?"
--MIKE: "Or give us a timeout?"
--RACHEL: "Maybe slap us with a lawsuit?"


RANDOM RAMBLINGS:

--Was hoping for the Rachel-Donna spat to last much longer. But coming from a USA show, I knew it wouldn't. Viva la status-quo!

--Gary Cole is a douche in everything he does, isn't he? Still love him, though.

--Louis' Dictaphone is back! They should make an entire episode out of just playing what is on it.

--I've heard we are going to learn about the origins of the can opener ritual this season. Can this happen next week, please?

THE GRADE: C+

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Review - SUITS 3.02: 'I Want You To Want Me'

As per usual, let's get my rant out of the way first ...

So this was episode 2, did I miss an episode 1.5 or something? This week begins with Mike and Rachel all lovey-dovey, but where the hell did that come from? That is certainly not the way those two left things in the premiere last week. Am I missing something here? I don't mind them being together, but holy shit they missed a step along the way here. Someone please help me out with this.

But luckily one of my fears was alleviated this week. With Harvey and Jessica working together on the case, I was worried the show was going to renege on Harvey's plan to take over as managing partner. But despite them co-existing to claim victory in the Ava Hessington case, Harvey told Donna he still plans a coup d'etat.

And as I've said several times since reviewing the show last season, this show is at its best when the characters are at odds with one another. And this week was the perfect example of that. Whether it was Donna vs. Rachel, Harvey vs. Mike or Harvey vs. Jessica, those battles were really great to watch. Let's face it, no one is watching this show for the cases-of-the-week. So that high-level tension is needed.

If it were up to me, I would have kept Mike with Louis for at least a few more episodes -- the spat between Harvey and Mike would have been better if it lasted longer. (I really don't think Harvey would have relented so easily. He was so adamant to Mike that they were done ... and then Donna comes and says it's time to forgive him and he suddenly does.) There was plenty more material to get out of it, too. Oh well.

And I'm sure Donna and Rachel will be back to being BFFs soon, which is unfortunate considering how epic their argument was. No way would Rachel forgive her so soon, but realistically that's probably what will happen.

I want something in the show's core to change and our only hope for that is a continued attempt from Harvey to take down Jessica. I'm just skeptical that's what will actually happen.


QUOTES OF NOTE:

--DONNA: "What high school did you go to?"

--LOUIS: "Can't a man just take out another man in the middle of the day for some steak, for some wine and for some cheesecake that will knock your socks off?"

--LOUIS: "Is this about the fact that I'm in the nude?"
--MIKE: "Please don't harp on that."

--MIKE: "OK, If I get in will you stop saying words?"

--HARVEY: "Maybe you didn't hear me -- I said you and I ... are done."

--RACHEL: "This wasn't about a job for me, it was about having a life -- but I guess you wouldn't understand that."
--DONNA: "Rachel, I'm going to walk away before we can't go back."

--LOUIS: "I think you're half-Harvey and half-me. You've had your time with him, now have your time with me."

RANDOM RAMBLINGS:

--See what happens when people tell the truth? All hell breaks loose.

--My senior prom went amazingly well, unlike Louis'.

--Donna really likes Richard Gere.

 --Oh dear God, Louis. (I'm thinking of the mud bath scene)

--I'm sorry, I just can't feel bad for someone who made a "Welcome to Team Litt' cake.

THE GRADE: B

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Review - SUITS 3.01: 'The Arrangement'

I'm not a lawyer so I don't know this to be a fact, but I think it's safe to say that TV shows that focus on the law are not all that realistic.

But hey, perhaps lawyers like Franklin and Bash performing outrageous stunts to win cases do exist! (Example: "If the glove don't fit, you must acquit!" SHIT, it DOES work!) And I'm sure Mike Ross isn't the only fraud lawyer out there, either. (Jeff Winger did it too!)

If these shows were realistic, they probably wouldn't be that compelling. So I suppose this is a good thing. But what happened in the first five minutes of the Season 3 Premiere of 'Suits' was NOT a good thing.

That first storyline involving Harvey trying to finagle more money for his basketball player's new contract was an absolute travesty of television. Let me count the reasons...

1. Deron Williams, the player whom he was negotiating for, is ALREADY under contract for another four full seasons in the NBA. Scheduled to make $18,466,130 in the 2013-14 season ... $19,754,465 (2014-15) ... $21,042,800 (2015-16) ... $22,331,135 (2016-17). I can let that one slide. But...

2. In the NBA, there's a ceiling in how much money a player can make in a season. Williams is a max-contract player, so there would literally be no haggling on the final dollar amount whatsoever. Even if the team WANTED to give him more money, they couldn't.

3. In fact, if a player signs a max-contract with the team he is currently on, he stands to make $30,000,000 more than if he signs a max-contract with a new team. So there is no leveraging to be had with another team. If the player wants to take a different team's offer, fine, but he's leaving 1-year and 30 million bucks on the table to do so. Yeah, it doesn't happen very often (Dwight Howard just did so when he left Los Angeles to go to Houston)

4. Obviously agents do some shady/manipulative type stuff when negotiating. This isn't news. But Harvey HAD to be lying when he said he had an offer from another team, because Williams was still under contract. Because that is tampering and illegal to do. Teams can't talk contract with a player from another team. That is a colossal no-no in professional sports and teams get fined a shit-ton for doing so. Not only that, but they would be likely be prohibited from ever signing that player.

5. Yeah, because Deron Williams is going to threaten to sit out the fourth quarter of a playoff game to leverage more money in his contract. Which, as we now know, isn't even possible in the first place. UGH.

OK, rant over. My apologies. Chances are either some of this bothered you already, or you hate sports and now hate me for wasting all your time when you thought you would be reading a review of the episode.

Now back to regularly scheduled programming...

Speaking of ranting and false threats -- did any of us really think that Harvey was going to either quit the firm or try to get Darby to fire him? Come on. I hate when shows resort to false stakes to create drama. IT DOESN'T WORK WHEN WE ALL KNOW THAT THERE ARE NO REAL STAKES ON THE LINE.

OK, rant over. It actually turned out pretty awesome in the end, because Harvey quickly abandoned that plan and decided to try to railroad Jessica. Let's hope he sticks to this plan and we get several episodes of that, because that will be fun to watch -- even though, again, I think it's fairly safe to assume that plan will essentially not be successful, either. As long as it results in some fun and some viciousness between Specter and Pearson, I'm more than fine with that. Those two are at their best when they are at war, anyway.

Two last things from the premiere that I really don't have much to say about, but need to touch on or some of you will get mad:

1. Here we go again with Mike and Rachel. They continue to go back and forth between kinda being together and her hating him. I don't mind that necessarily, I just prefer them to stick with one of those paths for more than an episode or two. It seems like she's pretty damn furious with him right now so I hope that continues for a while. Rachel is really awesome when she's angry and it would be fun to see Mike with her as a pseudo-enemy.

2. The feud between Louis and Nigel is a bit weird, but I still like it. I mean, these two should be the best friends in the world, but of course Louis screwed it up. It's just so great to see people mess with Louis (and I love Louis). He just wants a friend and everyone is out to get him. It's great.

I'm really glad this show is back. Let me know what you guys thought about my rants and the first episode back.

QUOTES OF NOTE:

--HARVEY: "So unless you intend to cook me breakfast tomorrow, I'd say we're done."

--DONNA: "Please stop saying Uniball."
--LOUIS: "No, I will not."

--MIKE: "You have no idea what I have or haven't done to get where I am."
--RACHEL: "And that's the whole problem -- I have no idea who you are."

--HARVEY: "You come to me. You tell me everything -- that's what god damn loyalty is."

--RACHEL: "Code 2!
--DONNA: Richard Gere is in the lobby?"

--MIKE: "By the way, if you ever do send that letter, you're in the same boat as me."

RANDOM RAMBLINGS:

--If you forgot where the show left off, check my review from the Season 2 finale for a refresher.

--Man, I missed the great music from this show. This week's favorite: 'Sacrilege' by Yeah Yeah Yeahs

--That dream sequence from the beginning with Rachel exposing Mike didn't fool me even for a second. What's the consensus on dream sequences? Yay or nay? Personally I find them rather lame and overplayed on TV. I mean, we get it, Mike is worried about being exposed. We don't need a dream sequence to tell us that.

--How come when I tell girls about the first time I saw them, it doesn't go quite as well for me as it did for Harvey?

--Haha, I love you Donna for torturing Louis. Excellent work.

--Did Harvey send Scottie to London just because the show couldn't afford to have her as a regular on the show? Or because she wasn't available to? Or because they plan to bring her back for dramatic effect later? This is something I'd like to know. I've always liked Abigail Spencer, so it would be nice to have her back at some point. Although I've never felt much of an investment in her and Harvey.

THE GRADE: B

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Review - SUITS 2.16: 'War'

People don't like change. They grow comfortable with the routine, become complacent and fear the unknown. I'm no different than these people I speak of.

Except for when it comes to TV. Because the status-quo sucks. It's cliche, it's boring and it's lazy. There would be nothing wrong if the season finale kept things the way they were -- 'Suits' would still be great for Season 3, but now it will be more exciting as changes are coming for next year.

If you like those changes, then great, and if for whatever reason you don't, there will still be aspects of the show you love and debating/complaining about the things you don't is half the fun of TV in the first place.

Heading into the Season 2 finale, I'm sure you expected some change anyway. Anyone could see the Mike-Rachel stuff from 10 miles away and the merger doesn't really change anything, it just adds some new faces to the firm. And I don't see how that could possibly be a bad thing. It gives the show some more versatility.

And whether you are a Rachel-Mike 'shipper or not (I am not personally: one of the very few times in my life I haven't been sucked into being a 'shipper), at the very least you can now look forward to some more racy sex scenes. YIKES. That was for mature audiences, only.

Two complaints with the Rachel-Mike storyline, other than it being incredibly transparent and obvious: (1) 
Why do big fights often result in sex for everyone but me? (2) I'm not sure I totally bought Rachel figuring out that something was off with Mike, it seemed like she jumped to that conclusion from seemingly nowhere. She was quibbling/focusing over minor things (like Mike being "cagey"), when other bigger issues were being overlooked. It seemed contrived and didn't feel natural, just a cheap way for her to find out his secret -- I mean, I know she's friends with Mike and all, but she should have gone to someone with more clout with this problem in the first place. She could've turned to her father or any senior partner at the firm -- they all went to Harvard, after all. I don't think I'm far off-base here, but the way things played out irked me a bit, but overall it's not a big deal.

A change I really did like was a possibly new and improved Jessica Pearson for next season. I've complained numerous times about how her character can be powerless when she shouldn't be, letting Harvey and Mike push her around and dictate everything that goes on in the firm. It's about time she exert her dominance over both of them. (Although her behavior in this episode was a bit peculiar. She was FURIOUS when Edward Darby visited with other firms as a contingency plan, so she guaranteed victory in the case over him: which would have guaranteed the end of that very same merger that she was desperate to make in the first place. Then, she sabotaged that very same victory she guaranteed. Strange.)

I'll always have complaints (I'm a little bitch), but I don't really see how any of the things that have changed heading into a new season can be construed as a bad thing for the show moving forward.

Other observations: 

(1) Rachel applying for Harvard was all a set-up for her finding out about Mike never actually attending law school there. We all knew she wasn't going to get in (because that would mean she would essentially have to leave the show), so this was all a precursor to her learning about Mike. I should have seen that as the reason this story was introduced in the first place.

(2) Harvey is so great, but I've never really cared much about his personal life for whatever reason. Maybe because it takes away from him being such a fun lawyer to watch. I've enjoyed his scenes with Scotty every time she's been on and they have a fun dynamic with/against each other, but DAMN, why was he so damn hostile towards her? Jeez.


(3) Two excellent scenes of dialogue in this episode: Donna/Harvey talking about Scotty and Jessica/Harvey going toe-to-toe.

(4) If you thought it was a bit far-fetched that Jessica would keep Mike around even after learning his secret, now you know why she did. She played that card she had on him at the perfect time. Well played, Jessica. I like when she plays hardball and exerts her strengths, proving why her name is on the door. Unfortunately those moments are not frequent enough. 

QUOTES OF NOTE:

--JESSICA: "I wouldn't need a roofie."

--RACHEL: "Harvey, you look nice."
--HARVEY: "Thank you, so do I."

--LOUIS: "What the hell are you looking at, asshole?"

--HARVEY: "I'd rather cross my own line than sign on their dotted one."

--JESSICA: 'And you'll be a winner, but not a leader -- and you won't have me."

--DONNA: "I'm so friggin tired of people asking me that and it's none of your business. ... But no."

--JESSICA: "That was about knowledge and the stakes were nothing. This is about power and the stakes are everything."

--JESSICA: "You're gonna stay here, be humble, and learn your god damn place."

--MIKE: "You don't understand what I have been through. You don't understand what I have lost, because it's everything -- everyone that I love: Trevor, my grandmother, Harvey, now probably this job. I am not ready to lose you. Not today."

--MIKE: "I never went to Harvard. I'm a fraud."

RANDOM RAMBLINGS:

--Louis' face when Nigel kisses Donna's hand was great.

--NIGEL: "I was caressing her lovely hand with my lovely lips." My nominee for the most creepy/disgusting quote in this show's history. Who would've thought it wasn't Louis'?

--Getting rejected on an attempted fist bump? The worst.

--I call BS on Louis' bullying story. That wouldn't have stopped them from tormenting him. It would only have made things worse.

--Just when you thought Louis was beginning to make some strides towards being a better human being, he very predictably screwed over Nigel.

--We may have seen the last of Amanda Schull on 'Suits'. As my Twitter friend (@MariL520) pointed out to me, she's been cast on an upcoming pilot on USA Network.

--TV Couples I was unreasonably invested in (in order of caring): Chuck-Sarah (Chuck), Julie-Matt (Friday Night Lights), Zack-Kelly (Saved by the Bell), Shawn-Juliet (Psych), Castle-Beckett (Castle), Veronica-Logan (Veronica Mars), Neal-Alex (White Collar), Alex-Dave (Happy Endings)

--Couples I've resisted 'shipping for: Jess-Nick (New Girl), Jeff-Anybody (Community), Breanna-Arnaz (One on One)

--Couples that I used to root for, but now dislike: Leonard-Penny (Big Bang Theory), Ted-Anyone (How I Met Your Mother), Jim-Callie (The Glades)

--The Worst Couples in TV history: Brody-Carrie (Homeland), Hannah-Adam (Girls), Troy-Britta (Community)

THE GRADE: B+

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Review - SUITS 2.15: 'Normandy'

Even though you're reading this, I still don't think you really care what I have to say about the penultimate episode of 'Suits' Season 2.

All you likely care about regarding this show is next week's finale and I don't blame you. And it better be good, because "Normandy" was a bit of a let-down and too anti-climactic for my taste.

I was pumped for an epic battle against Hardman, and for a second week in a row I was disappointed with the outcome. Hopefully next week provides the fireworks on that front, as Hardman had little up his sleeves this week to counter Jessica and Company.

I did like and appreciate Louis going to bat for Rachel, but the outcome seemed entirely too predictable to me. If she goes to Harvard, she's off the show. That wasn't going to happen. And I didn't buy that she wouldn't get in to begin with. I understand it's essentially impossible to get into Harvard, but her father is a famous lawyer and alum and we all know connections are everything. And even if she had gotten rejected, wouldn't her father have remedied that situation?

It was also a nice change-of-pace to see Jessica pull off a brilliant maneuver to screw over Hardman -- after all, her name is on the door and it was about damn time this show proved her worth. Too often it's Harvey saving the day, while Jessica watches from the sidelines. I wish they gave her more to do than just bark out orders and scold Harvey.

Jessica out-doing Harvey and Louis acting admirably on behalf of Rachel (not once, but twice) -- too different sides of those characters that were nice to see.

No new side to Mike this week, however, as once again he's at odds with a co-worker. Is there a clause in his contract with the show that he MUST be feuding with someone in every episode? If it's not Rachel, it's Harvey. If it's not them, it's Jessica. Or Louis. Or Donna. And now Katrina. I loved his character in Season 1, but feel like his storylines have taken a step back this year.

Last week I asked for a merger and it looks like I may get my wish, just not with the firm I was expecting. But if this results in Abigail Spencer becoming more of a regular character, I'm all for that.

Things I want to see in the finale next week: (1) Rachel finds out Mike's secret, slaps him and disowns him. (2) Mike gets a new love interest (Let's go with Katrina, because I want Amanda Schull to stick around and a love-hate between those two could be fun) and Rachel gets jealous. Then Mike tells her to shove it. (3) More Hardman, with a more exciting confrontation. Would love to see him win a round. (4) Harvey and Jessica have a major blow-up. (5) Louis resorts back to doing something sleazy. (6) More Donna.

What do you guys want to see?

QUOTES OF NOTE:

--DONNA: "A woman who wants nothing -- I distrust that."

--RACHEL "Mike, I am a sure thing."
--MIKE: "Yeah, you can give it a shot -- but it probably won't work." (How great was his facial reaction there?)

--JESSICA: "That reminds me, how are things going with Pussy Galore?"

--HARVEY: "I call Curley."

RANDOM RAMBLINGS:

--Apparently Mike has a weak stomach ... I would have finished that, dammit.

--Loved how Harvey was at first reluctant to let Donna fix his hair, but then said the hell with it and let her do it.

--Hardman looked surprised/offended that his name was off the door. Did he really expect that to stay up?

THE GRADE: C+

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Review - SUITS 2.14: 'He's Back'

I watched this episode on Friday, but I was multi-tasking and wasn't paying enough attention to write a thorough review. I didn't get to watch it again until Sunday night, because I was shoveling 28 inches of snow and because, quite frankly, I didn't want to watch the very same episode again.

So now that I've watched it twice in the span of a few days, I should have a ton to say about it, right? Well, maybe, but I'm just really eager to get this over with -- so I'm going to keep this short and very unsophisticated.

GENERAL THOUGHTS: Solid episode, as any featuring the fun-to-hate Daniel Hardman would be. ... I don't generally like episodes that don't have resolutions or climaxes, but the way this episode was structured was to have the real (and final?) battle between Hardman and everyone in the next episode. So that's fine. ... I think the other episodes featuring Mike/Harvey/Jessica going after Hardman were better than this one, though. ... I think a merger with Mr. Zane's firm would give this show a nice little jolt. A few more prominent characters wouldn't hurt. Speaking of which, where was Katrina? Is she going to be on more or no? I hope so.

OTHER THOUGHTS: Donna looked heartbroken when she realized Harvey was calling Jessica beautiful and not her. ... No matter your opinion of Louis (personally, I love him), you kinda had to feel bad for him in this one. Heck, even Harvey did. It was nice to see Louis confront Hardman in the elevator. ... Two major thumbs up on Donna slapping Daniel. How awesome was that? Rachel and Mike are totally going to kiss in either next week's episode or the finale. Or both. It would just be a total shock!

I told you this wouldn't be a sophisticated review.

QUOTES OF NOTE:

--DANIEL: "Oh my god, did I forget to give you the subpoena?

--DONNA: "Success is the best revenge."
--LOUIS: "Bullshit. Revenge is the best revenge."

--DONNA: "You're nothing if not an asshole."

--LOUIS: "I'll  rip your smug face off your fat neck and I'll kill you."

RANDOM RAMBLINGS:

--I enjoyed Mike and Harvey calling Hardman a "douchebag" in unison and under their breaths at the deposition, right after Harvey saying:"let's show opposing council some respect."

--Never ruin a sporting event for someone, that's just cruel. Although these days, it's impossible to avoid being spoiled by the internet, twitter, a text message, a friend or a stranger.

--Am I the only one who found it incredibly strange that Rachel told Jessica who she was when she opened the door? CLEARLY Jessica knows who she is.

--Mr. Zane is right. Offensive lines usually are packed with big white dudes while the d-line is packed with big black dudes. Had never thought of that before.

--ANYTIME you see an elevator closing on TV, it's about a 99% guarantee that someone is going to stick their hand in and enter the elevator just before it closes.

THE GRADE: B

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Review - SUITS 2.13: 'Zane vs. Zane'

I've been a bit down on 'Suits' these past few weeks but with just one little moment in "Zane vs. Zane", all is forgiven and I'm reminded why I love this show so much.

Because if you didn't laugh at Louis walking into his office talking into his Dictaphone while huge posters of his mug shots (with hilarious captions*) scattered the room, then obviously this isn't the right show for you and something is clearly wrong with you.

That was classic. I thought the prank war between Louis and Katrina was a bit ridiculous (would a well-known lawyer really get arrested for bringing cuticle clippers into the courthouse?), but it provided some fun moments and laughs and was capped off by the greatest thing that Donna has ever done. And that's saying something.

(*Here are the captions on the posters that I made out: "Being a Dick", "Senior Asshole", "Norma's Bitch", "Abraham Loser", "Little Bitch", "Perfectly Sculpted Cuticles" Which one was your favorite? I'm going with "Norma's Bitch")

Hell, that one scene was so god damn great, it almost made me forget about how lame and cliche the whole "Dad doesn't believe in me, Dad doesn't respect me, Dad doesn't care me" bullshit storyline that we've seen on every TV show ever. At least this one was well-done and felt a bit different than the others I've seen, but still.

As far as the case-of-the-week is concerned, it was just an excuse to (1) Bring back Daniel Hardman next week and (2) Begin the healing process between Mike and Rachel. While the latter doesn't exactly excite me, any time those two share screen-time (regardless if you want them together or not ... I don't) it generally is a good thing.

And I for one am pretty excited about the return of Daniel Hardman. Seriously, what show does rivalries better than this one? Between Travis Tanner and Daniel Hardman, I say 'Suits' does it the best. (Mike kept telling everyone that this week's case was NOT about Zane vs. Zane and it should be about their client vs. Zane. If he thought things got blurred this week, just wait until next week turns into a Pearson vs. Hardman all-out war.)

As great as it will be to see them trounce Hardman, I wouldn't mind seeing them lose this time. The "good guys" always win on law shows, so it's always predictable what will happen. I want this show to stray from that, but I won't hold my breath on that one.


One last thing about this week's case: Are companies really that fucking stupid about sexual discrimination? Judging by THIS and THIS, maybe they are. Also, did Robert Zane, this apparently brilliant attorney, really think that Harvey wasn't going to notice what that sexist company was hiding?

There will always be minor quibbles, but that was a really fun episode with a lot of great dialogue and leads us into a very promising episode next week with the return of Hardman. Can't wait.

QUOTES OF NOTE:

--HARVEY: "This better not end up with you in bed with her, telling her your secret."
--MIKE: "Not a problem, we'll do it on the couch. ... Wow, that was not respectful to you, me or her."
--HARVEY: "Or her father."
--MIKE: "Or your couch."
--HARVEY: "Not my couch!"

--DONNA: "I'm remembered fondly everywhere."

--LOUIS: "You lied to me, and you know it."
--KATRINA: "Oh, yeah? Who are you gonna tell?"

--LOUIS: "General Zod was a visionary leader who was under-appreciated by his entire planet -- so of course I know who he is."

--HARVEY: "You too!? You are NOT getting my bagel."

--DONNA: "I gotta admit, you look kinda hot as a bad-boy."

RANDOM RAMBLINGS:

--One would think that opposing lawyers should know by now not to mess with Harvey, Jessica and Mike and try to make things personal. It only fires them up. Want evidence? Just look what happened to Travis Tanner and Daniel Hardman.

--One day we're going to live in a world where our blenders don't sound louder than a nuclear missile launch. In the meantime, we can at least enjoy Louis drowning out Katrina talking with one.

--If I send you a picture of my face, will someone PLEASE photoshop me as former Presidents of the United States??

--Why do Mike and Rachel keep insisting that this case wasn't Zane vs. Zane when the episode title clearly states that it is?

--Rachel was #2 in her high school graduating class. I was 82 out of 257, I believe (may be a few spots off on that). Now that I told you mine, what was yours? Don't be a bitch, just do it.

--So Katrina (Amanda Schull) thinks she's a pretty face? Yeah, I'm going to have to agree on that one. And apparently Louis feels that same way about Gwen Stefani. Yeah, I'm going to have to agree on that one.

--Norma is legitimately the WORST secretary of all-time.





--I don't want to know why Louis is running low on socks.

THE GRADE: A-

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